Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
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