i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
