I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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