come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
