Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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