I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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