She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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