I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize