Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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