i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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