cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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