He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
