I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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