is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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