So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize