I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
