I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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