My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
