do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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