she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize