so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
