You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.