so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
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I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
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I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned