He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.