it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
These 21 People Shouldn’t Be Giving Dating Advice
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.