I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
