just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
