went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
