just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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