can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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