Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize