This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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