Im at strip club and am horny
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I want her autograph on my taint
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
