how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
