Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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