How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
