We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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