"it" just moved
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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