I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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