I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
