Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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