He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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