he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
