I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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