Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I need to wash the frat house off of me
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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