im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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