I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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