I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Randomize
