how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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