we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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