ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
