The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
