somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
