you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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