sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
