My pussy is not your playground.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
