you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
