3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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