I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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