I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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