Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Little spoons don't ask big questions
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I look excited, but its just a facade.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
