We need to rekindle our bromance
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
