I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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