I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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