I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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