:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
