I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
