My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
