belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
