and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
