I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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