If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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