:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
