I seem to have left my pride at pride
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Randomize
