I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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