So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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