STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
